


Paradise

by AllisonNoir



Category: Dark (TV 2017)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:02:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26636293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllisonNoir/pseuds/AllisonNoir
Summary: She stayed quiet after the incident. It took a few days for her to stop the constant quivering and the silent crying. She had barely eaten and slept during that time. When he had tried to offer her some food, she hadn’t even raised her head.Noah hadn't told him much about the future, about his future, just that he had to take care of her. He then hadn't known it was her whom Noah had been speaking about, this little girl, but as he had entered the bunker he had known it, he had felt it in his bones.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	Paradise

**Author's Note:**

> I wondered about a missing scene in Noah's and Elisabeth's relationship. I think Hanno didn't know much about his future (Noah and either Adam told him more than he had to know). So what if he wasn't aware of that his mission was all along Elisabeth? I imagined their connection like Jonas' and Martha's, so what if they can feel the link between them too? Elisabeth had wise eyes to recognise Noah in the boy, but what if he didn't know much about her just that she had to be protected? (That's the reason I wrote 'she', instead of Elisabeth. What if they have to know each other first? And Hanno didn't even know her name yet? It's all make sense, if you think about it, he was technically raised within the Sic Mundus, Franziska and Magnus was there, so they must have mentioned Elisabeth, Franziska's little sister, so he either was aware of everything or didn't know anything. Starting with that Josan a.k.a Adam was leading everybody as he wished, I could imagine the latest...)

She stayed quiet after the incident. It took a few days for her to stop the constant quivering and the silent crying. She had barely eaten and slept during that time. When he had tried to offer her some food, she hadn’t even raised her head. Awful canned and disgustingly odd odoured ones he could just bid with, so he after all couldn't blame her about the lack of taste, but it wasn’t about the food. He had made attempts to force her a few takes, but each time when he was on to approach her, she had been visibly one breath away to a next panic attack so he hadn't tried to force it again. He hated to see her in such pain. He had just left the plate near to her and disappeared to the entry of the cave. He knew he had to keep the distance.

Noah hadn't told him much about the future, about  _ his _ future, just that he had to take care of her. He then hadn't known it was  _ her  _ whom Noah had been speaking about, this little girl, but as he had entered the bunker he had known it, he had felt it in his bones. It was like a magnet, an indescribable bond. He had known what would happen with her father, that the man would die and after that his mission would be his mission to take care of her. The one thing that Noah hadn't said - _ or was he all along suspected? _ \- that it wouldn't be just a task to do for Adam’s wish. As he had seen the blonde small, so young girl in the bunker, it felt like seeing the light, and the reason for everything. It wasn't just a mission, it felt like a purpose of life, like fate itself.

He had wanted to ask her then how she realised it was him: Noah. He remembered that as he had stepped inside the bunker her dad had freezed in tense. Maybe the man had suspected who he was or just felt his presence like a treat - or maybe the shadow of murder was like an invisible tattoo on his skin, and the man had seen it. The girl’s father had grabbed her hand and had sat closer, but the blonde youth had pierced him with her huge blue eyes and had said “Noah” without a sound. He had wanted to ask her how she had known his name - or at least the name what Adam gave him and what belonged to his future self - but he hadn't had a chance that time. He had then just closed the bunker’s door behind him and had warned the small group to hold on. The apocalypse had been on to start. Then like clockwork, it happened.

She knew who he was - Noah - and albeit it wasn’t his real name he wouldn't want to correct her. It felt a little odd to wear someone else’s name who he yet wasn’t, but if Noah was who she believed in and trusted in, especially after what had happened he would willingly be Noah for her. And trust was currently the most precious thing for surviving. He didn't want to hazard with her trust if he would have told his real name - and after all he would become Noah in the future and maybe he was already living in his future. And he lost being Hanno the time when he had first stepped into that door in Sic Mundus and his journey had begun. And even long before that, maybe he hadn’t ever been Hanno. Just as his older self had told him, their ways were already written by others. They weren’t free and they wouldn’t be. He wondered whether Hanno ceased to exist when his father died or his father had known what he would become and he was the reason why his father had lost faith. Maybe his fate was to trust only in himself - his older self - and not wondering what the others ever told. His older self believed in Adam, so he would believe too. What Adam promised would come.

He looked around in the silent forest and for a moment enjoyed the coming sunlight. Whatever he was thinking, the present was currently important. There was a reason why Adam sent him here, and he couldn’t forget that. Since he was in this time period, he had long nights to wonder, and cope with everything but those days hadn’t been as long as the previous ones. He hated seeing her panicking and crying in her sleep, and abhorred more that he could only lull her from a safe distance. During the first few times, he had tried to wake her up from the nightmare, but as she had been startled out of her sleep, she had been fighting and had bit and hit him several times and there had been times when she had just freezed in terror. It hadn’t been the best decision to grab her kicking limbs tight or pressing her with his whole weight to calm her down somehow. It had just worsened the whole. The hardly earned trust in daytimes had dwindled to nothing those times. He couldn’t blame just himself for it, so then he had no choice then leaving her alone with her nightmares.

After a few days and sleepless nights and less than ten nails later he had decided, he needed to make some steps behind her back, for his and her own sake too. He had mixed some pills into her water and her portions. The thought haunted him what would happen if somehow she realised that technically he drugged her to unconsciousness, but he had to live with that fear, it was for her well-being, he did that to her. Now she was fine and was sleeping in the cave motionlessly, carelessly, without pain, without haunting memories and without sorrow. She needed that peace.

He for the last time looked around, this time he wasn't enjoying the calmness of the forest, he was marking every inch for a possible unforeseen coming treat. He waited a few moments if he heard something moving behind the trees, but after a few minutes then he stood up. He hated the idea to leave her alone but he had things to do - for her. He returned to the cave and in silence grabbed the necessary things and his backpack. Once again he looked at the sleeping girl who seemed in her sleep her real age: so young, so fragile and so peaceful. In the last few days, she had been carrying the weight of everything, she had to grow up in a way that he couldn’t wish for any one.

It was good to see her real self again - even if as soon as she woke up, the all happened stuff would make shadows in her eyes again. He wanted to stay, just to get lost in her, marking her every peaceful inch, just enjoying the silence before the storm, but he reminded himself to move. He wondered for a moment what would happen if somehow he wouldn't return and she would stay completely alone. But the impossibility of this chance came to his mind, he wouldn't die because he had already met with his older self. And he had to believe in his older self, the man would have mentioned if something would happen during his absence. He had to believe in that. There were two things that his older self had said: to take care of her and the Jonas one. They would become friends and just then the future boy could betray him. He wondered if the betraying would mean that something would happen with the blonde girl during his absence, but then he had to remind himself, they weren't even friends with Jonas. And he had seen the boy in 1921 last time. Jonas was in 2020, here too, he could almost feel that in his bones, like a fate calling, even if they didn’t meet yet. It was only the question of time - just as everything else. Becoming friends with Jonas was calling him like a siren would invite a sailor to doom. He both was eagerly curious when that would happen and feared the time when the future boy would betray him. And after all Jonas was Adam, and he would follow Adam to everywhere, especially to the promised redemption.

He glimpsed last time to the sleeping girl and promised himself to be as quick as possible and then he finally left the cave. He hadn't told her that he had been following them since she and her father had gone their own way after the apocalypse happened. Partly because he had to know she was safe and partly because he couldn't know when her father would die and if she would need him. Noah hadn't told him when that would occur and neither that fact that even if he had followed them, that would be the only time when he got them out of his vision and she had to deal with everything alone. As he had seen her in the cave, seeing on her face that something horrible had happened, he had blamed Noah.  _ Why hadn't his older self warned him? Why did she have to be on her own when it happened? _ But then, he had accepted - hardly, but with time travel there were things that had to be accepted without understanding the reason. There were things that had to happen the way those happened to then those things could have been explained with time, a piece of a bigger picture. Just because he couldn’t yet grasp the reason, it didn’t mean there wasn’t any cosmic explanation.

He easily found their caravan on the road. He even made the walking quicker than each previous time. But then he realised during those occasions he had had to hide behind the trees and now he even fastened his steps even more to return to the cave as soon as possible. He hoped the pills would last long enough and the girl wouldn't wake up realising she was left on her own. He took a deep breath to close every thought out of his mind and opened the caravan's door.

At first he couldn't see the difference, maybe the thing that haunted her horribly hadn't happened there but then he sensed it, the odour of rotting. He turned to the other side of the caravan. There was a body, disfigured, hitting to death and near to it, there was an extinguisher. The corpse was nearly unrecognizable, but he knew it wasn't her father. That was another man. Maybe her father had done it to protect the girl, but then something hit him. He felt it wasn't the truth. In the corner of the eyes, there was something too, another corpse. That one was her father, with a knife in the neck. He didn't have to think much to put together the pieces. He freezed in horror and in realization. So that was why he had lost them from his vision. It wasn't because the soldiers had been on to clear the area preparing for the announced isolation and the constantly moving vehicles blocked his sight. No, they had been separated. And he had searched for two figures. He could have known it. But then, he had to remind himself that the time had led it to happen and he couldn't have done anything against it. It had had to happen the way as it had happened.

The girl must have been alone when the stranger appeared or the man had already been there, anything could have been possible. And her father arrived late, just in time to face a man attacking her daughter. The man was quicker and murdered him and then she had had to make her own way out of the situation. She had had to kill the stranger if she had wanted to stay alive. She not just had lost her father but survived an attack along with losing her innocence, her childhood and the only one who could mean her protection and handhold in this twisted world. He now understood her horror. He had to concentrate if he wanted to avoid taking over by the waves of feelings. He had to concentrate and step over the things that had happened for her and for his own sake.

He felt blessed not having any watches, he didn't want to know how much time he had needed to make the grave that would be liked by her. He hated her father that the man hadn't been there for her, but he had to think about her, she needed a good place for her loss and he must have to respect her needs. Then as he made the cross too, he returned to the caravan and put everything in the bag that belonged to them: canned food, clothes and even her father's stuff. He searched every inch of the small place if he missed anything. He wouldn't return later and he didn't want her to come back either to such a place that meant so much pain for her. They must have left the past behind. For a moment he wondered what Paradise could mean, but as he looked around in the caravan for the last time a thought came to his mind, like he would have heard that some other time: Paradise is free of pain and suffering. Everything we’ve ever done is forgotten there. Any pain we’ve ever felt is erased. And all the dead live.


End file.
